the daunting world of blogz (its cooler if you use 'z's)

This all is sorta strange to me...

There was a day that I had a Livejournal, xanga, myspace blog... all that stuff. I traded that stuff out for a series of small book-looking notebooks that I write my thoughts in throughout the day. I knew there would come the day that I should share my thoughts, I couldn't always hoard them to myself. I couldn't always keep the things God was telling me in a little black book or in a single song. I love to write, I always have... I was a writer long before I was singer in my mind.

So here is goes.. blogging...

I sit down and immediately start overthinking everything. I am too analytical for my own good - always had been, I always talk too much and not enough at the same time. Right now I am listening to the second mixes of two new sbb songs... the lyrics of the bridge to the one song just get me every time and I named my blog after it.

"Push back the darkness, doubt and disbelief.

We are stronger now than we can see.

Open the door a crack,

We'll force the darkness back.

It has been so long since we believed"

How true is that...? I always think of progress as big steps and developments but God showed me that you make headway with every little step, just by pushing the darkness back a little bit by bit. That we have more than we realize..we have the power of God backing our steps now its time to truly believe it and walk in that authority!

I think this song has been repeat for 45 minutes now haha, I am sooo lame I know. Is it a shame to like my own music? You'd hope I wouldn't write music I didn't like or didn't mean anything to me!

Paul said in Phillipians "I have learned the secret of being content"...Paul the man who's ministry was less than a glamorous joy ride. Paul figured it out that happiness and peace are not contextual, situational or conditional...none of that. It's rock solid like our foundation in Christ. I am so blessed to be in music ministry. It definitely comes with its share of struggles but it's nothing compared to what Paul suffered through - makes my job look pretty easy.

Last night I was talking to Nathan and we were trying to imagine what our lives would have been like if we had never met each other. There certainly wouldn't be any Shine Bright Baby, which has completely altered both of our lives. It's hard to think about it but that's just it...we can never see the whole picture! 6 months from now I will look back and be like "ohhh... I get it God, that's why..." It's happened countless times already in my life, and the older I get (nice and ripe at 20 haha!) the more I feel like it happens. Change is so fascinating to me, I love watching things grow, evolve and progress. Oh there's that word again... progress. I love seeing things in motion, moving towards some glorious goal but as Miley Cyrus said (or whoever wrote her song I should say) it's all about the climb. (:

thanks for reading

-emily.irene